Surprise! Amazon Cuomo Doesn’t Fix L Train Tunnel During Midnight Visit

Governor Cuomo Flickr

Corporate America’s valiant Governor, ‘Amazon’ Cuomo, tried his hardest last night to fix the Canarsie Tunnel during a 1.5 hour midnight visit with a team of “national and international experts,” but in the end, no miracles were made and the tunnel will close as scheduled for an estimated 15 months of repairs starting in April 2019.

Cuomo did bless us with a photo shoot providing images of the subterranean finger pointing and deep reflection we all wanted.

Amazon Cuomo held a press conference following the tunnel tour in which he revealed nothing new while name-dropping his photo-op team of global experts from Cornell, Columbia University, and the MTA. Watch the press conference here:

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