Introducing Bullet Mouth: Greenpointers’ New Advice Column

Bullet Mouth is Greenpointers’ new advice column, here to answer your questions on life’s many vexing issues.

Dear Bullet Mouth:
I have a group of friends who love to go out to dinner and out to bars all the time, which is great, as I love to socialize and be out on the town too.
The problem is, lately I’ve been a little on the broke side and can’t afford the same lifestyle. I want to see people and be involved, but how do I avoid forking over serious cash every night?
—Cash-Strapped on Calyer

Dear Cash-Strapped on Calyer: Everyone I know has this problem. Like you, they either can’t afford night-after-night out or, if they can, feel guilty about it because they should be saving more or engaging in healthier activities. You are absolutely not a special snowflake in this regard.

Luckily, the solution is pretty simple. Sit down and tally how much you can truly afford to spend on dining, imbibing and Ubering each week. Then spread that amount over just a few nights. You’ll feel less deprived if, when you are out, you aren’t nickel-and-diming yourself at every turn. For the rest of the week, make plans that don’t involve bars and restaurants. Things like cheapie night at the movies, cool library lectures or late-night museum hours.

And because FOMO is a persuasive little bastard, there’s always this age-old trick for last-minute gatherings you simply cannot decline: Show up at a night’s tail end, when dinner is done and a drink or two will get you through the rest of the evening.

Here are my wallet-friendly Greenpoint recommendations for every occasion:

The “I Want to Hang Out but Can’t Do a Full-Blown Dinner” hang: Head to the Lobster Joint for $1 oysters, $4 drafts and $6 cocktails from 4pm – 7pm every Monday thru Friday. (1073 Manhattan Ave.)

The “Worked Sucked and I Need a Strong, Sugary Cocktail Right Now” bar: Beeline it to Enid’s and order a Frozen Harrison, just $5 every day of the week from 4pm – 7pm. (560 Manhattan Ave.)

The “I Want to Meet for a Civil Glass of Wine” hang: Troost offers quartinos (equivalent to about 1.5 glasses) of their house wines for $8 from 4pm-8pm daily. (1011 Manhattan Ave.)

The “I Want to Get My Grub on Without Dropping $100” dinner: The best Polish restaurant in the neighborhood: Karczma. It’s hearty, rich and absurdly affordable. The spicy beef goulash is what dreams are made of. (136 Greenpoint Ave.)

The “I Want to Celebrate with All of My Friends on the Cheap” birthday party: Black Rabbit is your joint. Their house draft is always $4, they have a backyard and they won’t care if you bring stupid cupcakes to pass out. (91 Greenpoint Ave.)

The “Let’s Get This Party Started” dive bar hang: While nowhere near the diviest bar in the area, Capri Social Club is a place where you can buy your whole crew a round without feeling burned. (156 Calyer St.)

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To ask Bullet Mouth a question for future Greenpointers posts, write it in an email to [email protected] with subject line “Bullet Mouth Advice.” All submissions will remain anonymous.