Photo by Harold M. Lambert

 

It was cold so there must have been shrinkage.

At least that is what the great George Constanza would have said if he had to describe the most boring blizzard in NYC’s history. Monday’s storm had subways shut down, curfews imposed, and weathermen promising us Brooklynites over 24 inches of pure unadulterated snow.  But when the blizzard showed us his mighty wrath with only 6 measly inches, you could hear the frustrated groans across the borough–and we mere mortals weren’t the only ones making noise that night.

One tipster wrote us that he spotted an allusive Yeti  binge drinking and growling at patrons at local waterhole Oak & Iron before hitting the snow covered sidewalks to terrify a few local residents during Monday night’s blizzard.

As if a Yeti sighting was not rare enough, another Brooklyn resident has come forward with evidence that Big Foot is alive and well, and residing inside Prospect Park. According to a man calling himself Russell Strarck, he claims to have captured footage of an over-sized hairy humanoid foraging for food inside Brooklyn’s largest park on Tuesday morning.

Don’t believe in Big Foot? Perhaps this mountain man’s testimony might convince you big hairy things exist in forests after all.

Robber says “sorry” and leaves apartment empty handed.

That is what an 81 year old woman told police after Benjamin Marciel  broke into her apartment and found her at home last Thursday. This was Marciel’s fourth break-in of the day and it wasn’t even 4:30pm. After he apologized to the lady for his rude intrusion, he quietly shut the door and moved on to his next and last hit of the day.  Using either unlocked kitchen windows or jimmying door locks to gain entrance, the 43 year old managed to steal thousands of dollars in jewelry, cash, and electronic equipment. One apartment claimed over $17,000 worth of goods were stolen! Marciel had hit his payday. Thankfully the crime spree didn’t last long and by Saturday the police had arrested him. His bail is set for $50,000.

Pervert gropes woman for beer money

Benjamin Marciel wasn’t the only 43 year old robbing Greenpointers last week. Last Wednesday, January 21st at approximately 11:30 pm, a 24 year old woman was heading home near Engret Street and Eckford Avenue when she was attacked by self-proclaimed frotteur, Pedro Anguilar.  According to the District Attorney’s report, Anguilar shoved the woman to the ground where he proceeded to fondle and press himself against her. After the victim screamed for help, Anguilar fled the scene leaving the victim’s purse on the ground nearby. Police promptly arrested the man a few minutes later on the corner of Nassau St and Manhattan Avenue. When asked why he would commit such a vile act, the man told police he needed money to buy some beer. Seriously? BEER?! WTF?!

In his own words: “I went on top of her to get money, and she screamed, so I just I ran. I’m so sorry for what I did. I never did that before.”

Hopefully after spending some time in the clinker he never will do such a thing again!! Anguilar was charged with 10 counts of assault, harassment and attempted robbery. His bail set at $25,000.

Man working at home is robbed at gunpoint

Yup, over here in the 11222, Thursday, January 22nd 2015 should be officially renamed “Get Robbed Day.” At least that’s what the cops must have thought when they responded to a 911 call from a 36 year old man who said he was robbed at gunpoint inside his own home.

The terrifying scene unfolded at 2:30 pm when the victim answered the door and found 4 bandanna-wearing thugs staring back at him. Brandishing a gun, the men forced themselves into the victim’s apartment shouting, “Where’s the money?” after which they robbed the man of his Playstation, a Samsung tablet, and the keys to his BMW. As the thieves rifled through the apartment, the victim dashed into his bedroom, locked the door, and called police.

The men tried break into the bedroom but their attempts were unsuccessful. In the end they left apartment through the front door. Neighbors said they didn’t hear a thing and as of writing this no arrests have been made.

And people wonder why NYC apartment doors look like this.

Stay warm, stay smart, and most importantly, stay safe Greenpoint!

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