If you think that all pastors are uptight, judgmental, straight laced, bores, that only shows you never met Reverend Ann Kansfield. I spoke with Ann for an hour and a half and the time seemed to whiz by. She is a great conversationalist with a disarming sense of humor, most of it self-deprecating.
I took careful notes on our conversation, but experienced writer’s block when trying to write about her. Suddenly, I had an aha moment, and realized why. Ann very rarely speaks in first person. She avoids the pronoun I, and invariably shifts from saying I to we. I realized that Ann is one of the least egotistical people I have ever met. Even though she was chosen as the New York Times person of the year in 2016, Ann is the personification of humility. As the old saying goes, “There is no I in team,” and Ann is the consummate team builder. Continue reading →
I am absolutely in love with my girlfriend of two years and our relationship is incredible with one exception, her ex-boyfriend. Currently she communicates with her ex-boyfriend but more importantly she also works with him. While I am completely confident that she is faithful, I know his intentions are not so innocent. I know he has approached her on multiple occasions which makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I’ve tried to discuss this once or twice but it sometimes only results into an argument. What should I do? I know the more I worry or get irritated, the more damage it does. But in the end it still does bother me. Is it me? Or is it the situation?
Worry and fear are not terribly helpful, but if you feel your concerns are based in some reality, perhaps you might attempt the conversation again with your girlfriend. I would suggest emphasizing that you do not think she has done anything wrong and that this may only be a concern of yours.
My boyfriend says I am “the one”, even though we have only dated for a few months… and I hardly see him, once a week usually, because of his work. When I think about it, I don’t feel I am in love with him… and now I question if I even know what love is. My parents were not big on saying “I love you”. And now I question if I loved them… Do I know what love even is… Although based on all I did for them before they passed away (took care of them at home and got a caregiver while I was at work… took care of them after she left and on weekends), I guess I did love them. I guess my question is: will I know when I finally do love my boyfriend? How will I know?
Love is, above all, pretty mysterious. One look at the Wikipedia page, and it’s pretty easy to see that the nature and definition of love is something people have discussed for centuries. You can ponder all this, but if I were you, I’d focus a little more on the here and now. . Continue reading →
Question: What do you do when you have very deep roots within a church that you love and sacrifice for, and then in comes a new honcho who stops ALL ACTIVITIES within the church and Parish. The Parish was finally in a good place, someplace it had not been in awhile and wham, torn to pieces again. Do you look for a new Parish or do you keep fighting those in charge?
Dear Displaced Disciple,
It sounds like you’re going through some difficult changes in your local church. Who knows, you could be describing my church. Over the time that I’ve served the Greenpoint Reformed Church, lots of changes have occurred. I’m sure that some of these were greeted with joy and others…well, I know that some folks aren’t so thrilled with the changes that have been made.
Houses of worship, especially in a city as vibrant as ours, are constantly changing. Continue reading →