Dear El Padre, 

I am absolutely in love with my girlfriend of two years and our relationship is incredible with one exception, her ex-boyfriend. Currently she communicates with her ex-boyfriend but more importantly she also works with him.  While I am completely confident that she is faithful, I know his intentions are not so innocent.  I know he has approached her on multiple occasions which makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.  I’ve tried to discuss this once or twice but it sometimes only results into an argument. What should I do?  I know the more I worry or get irritated, the more damage it does. But in the end it still does bother me. Is it me? Or is it the situation?

Dear Ex-Trouble,

Worry and fear are not terribly helpful, but if you feel your concerns are based in some reality, perhaps you might attempt the conversation again with your girlfriend.  I would suggest emphasizing that you do not think she has done anything wrong and that this may only be a concern of yours.

Try to explain your concerns about her ex-boyfriend, and how this situation makes you feel. The next part is the toughest – if she tells you nothing is going on and that you should not be concerned, you have to attempt to let it go.

Sincerely,

El Padre AKA Ann Kansfield

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