It’s you’re every Fridayafter work happy hour at Broken Land and that hit-the-spot Pina Colada (yes, Tiki drinks are in) is mixing with that it’s the weekend feeling. The last of your crew arrives and the plan is to grab a slice at Franklin Pizza then head to 67 West to check out a few openings.
As you sprinkle the garlic power onto your slice (too much garlic powder) and begin to set it down on the counter, you instead put it into the hands of a stranger – a smoking hot stranger. You lock eyes for a moment. You both seem to understand each other’s mutual love for late night garlic breath make out sessions. (There aren’t many of you.) You think I may have met “the one.” You get tunnel vision and can see the entire universe expanding before your eyes. Then someone grabs your arm abruptly and drags you onto Franklin St.
“Eat and walk. Eat and walk,” your friend says.
“But…” you say as you look back at “the one” while shoving the slice into your mouth.
“Did that Pina Colada go to your head?” your friend says, “Back to reality.”
At the Fowler opening, the show statement for “Life of the Party” seems to have a message in it specifically for you. “Everyone wants to be the life of the party, but most of us also grapple with the need to be apart from the group, either in search of solitude or for the purpose of breaking new ground …”
You look around and realize you know every single person in the room – dated a few of them, even. This is reality. This is why you aren’t meeting new people. It isn’t your garlic breath that is holding you back, it’s that you travel with the same circle of friends to the same places. They are great people, but you long for new connections. You came to NYC to meet new people, but where is everybody? It seems like everyone is running around as busy as you and even when those magical moments happen, you are torn away.
Garlic dream lover wasn’t a random subway creep or an online fling but a real person and you want to reconnect – but how? Of course, there is an app for that.
Happn, a new app created in Paris, helps you meet people you’ve chanced upon in real life, be it at Transmitter Park while admiring the skyline, digging through vinyl at Record Grouch or eating a Donut Ice Cream Sandwich at Peter Pan (yes, heaven).
It uses your smartphone’s GPS to locate potential matches, real people who may be into the same things you are. Whenever you crosses someone’s path who also uses the app, his or her profile is added to the top of your feed.
If you’re interested you tap on the profile and start interacting with a simple “like” or a self-assured “charm.” If there is a mutual match in “likes,” you can start chatting. The interactions are based on reciprocity, and you will not receive messages from someone you’re not interested in.
Happn is safe and confidential. Your location is not saved and remains completely invisible to other members (only the position of where two people have passed each other is registered). Happn will never post anything on your Facebook feed, and if a profile no longer interests you, you can decide to never cross paths again. If only it was that simple in real life! You can report any unwanted behavior or block a profile by flagging it.
The app is already really popular in Europe, and you can use it when you travel! It is works on iPhones and Androids. Open it everyday to see a world of potential matches in Greenpoint or beyond. Reconnecting was hard to do, but not anymore with Happn.
In light of America’s birthday, let’s talk about some goods made in the good U.S. of A., M&U Co. The gear is thoughtful but streamlined — no fuss or frills with a touch of Scandinavian aesthetics. So, I’m in love. Click through for an exclusive discount code for Greenpointers readers (huzzah!), a snazzy interview with the founder Nathan Gryszowka, and more products to swoon over. Continue reading →
Dear readers – we’re excited to announce the launch of our new Greenpoint matchmaking series, Love Bites! Inspired by similar efforts by The Boston Globe Magazine and The Guardian, we’re partnering with some of your favorite neighborhood restaurants and bars to set up complimentary dates for Greenpointers who want to meet someone new. Here’s how it’ll work:
1) Submit your information to us via the form below – include a photo to help us get to know you. Continue reading →
I am very in love with my girlfriend of 3 years, but about a years ago her sexual energy plateaued and now I’m lucky if we have sex even once per month. Should I break up with her even though that is my only issue with her? Last time I mentioned her change it resulted in a large fight and her feeling getting upset.
Before you break up with your girlfriend, here are some things to consider. First, it’s totally understandable that mentioning the change in your sex life resulted in a fight. She most likely has a myriad of feelings about the situation. Sex can be a barometer of the overall health of a relationship. But the good news is that with improved communication situations like this can definitely change. Continue reading →
Dating is always tough, but it’s tougher in New York – especially Brooklyn. Now for us single ladies, it’s always a different story. Before I give you my list of “first date spots,” these are the prerequisites:
a. Incognito status: places where friends / exes do not troll aka I-won’t-bump-into-anyone-I-know. I want to save myself and my um, date, the embarrassment of saying “Uh, yeah. I’m on a date.”
b. Big open spaces: Well, I’ll be ok as long as it has a number of easy exits – especially on a first date. Big windows count. Continue reading →
Have you ever had one of those mornings you wake up and actually cringe at the thought of your previous evening? I like to keep these mornings few and far between. When they do show up, though, it’s nice to think about all the other worst-case scenarios that offer the friendly reminder, “well at least I’m not that guy.”
Recently, I heard a story about a fellow Greenpointer that has become a comfort on any mortifying morning I might awake to. As a writer, I consider it my civic duty to impart this story upon you.
The deal breaker. Whether you have been dating for one week or one year the definition of a deal breaker varies from person to person. For some, it may be that moment when he/she farted on your first sleepover, others it may be the ultimate intolerance of perpetual halitosis or, according to urban dictionary, “The act of firmly yet romantically cramming your entire fist into your significant others cornhole… a distant cousin of the shocker.” No matter the specifics, a deal breaker is a deal breaker and its up to each individual to decide what they can live with and what they can live without.
Here are a few of mine:
1. Getting Lanced:
My boss was sick of me having nothing to contribute to Monday morning dating debriefs so she took it upon herself to set me up with her friend – after our date he said he was headed out on a bike trip for a week out west and asked if we could get together when he got back. The next day I received a heartbreaking picture message – him in full on Lance gear…padded bike spandies, helmet, fingerless gloves…I’m now suspicious he doesn’t have any testis either.
2. Bad Texter:
A friend of mine took me to an amazing art exhibit on the opening night at Milk Studios. The artist was an attractive Frenchman who was acquaintances with said friend. A few days later, the artist had asked about me and he wisely slipped him my number. I guess the trouble started when his message contained 5 smiley faces in a two sentence exchange.. and continually referring to me as “Merry”… REPEATEDLY in each message even after correcting him – “Oh, my name is MEDDY.” Nonetheless I moved forward and we decided on a date…until 4am I received the below message (mind you this IS abbreviated):
“Thank you Merry (smiley face) Indeed. lot of things are happening in the same time. and keep happening..very interesting. means a lot. amazing signs. timing being a sign as well, or interpreted as one, if you need a sign (winky face)! ….do I need signs ? sure always, ying yang confidence and doubts…signs, no ? sorry. strong green.. lol…ok i ll keep it !(smiley face) hum. seriously…. for tomorrow…i was thinking… you already attended my show… enough it s too much on me…no? (smiley face) yes…i feel it that way…i totally forgot that talk… finally and overall i would have a great excuse to live right after the talk…”
3. The Bed Wetter:
It’s funny how an old flame can draw you in even after so many years. For me, it was the college jock. Of all the potentials in my life, I’d say I gave this one (hands down the least deserving) the most time of day. Why you ask? I have no idea. He was a soccer player and I’d had a crush on him since sophomore year. After years of back and forth flirtations we finally met up after college. Naturally, I thought it was going to be monumental–Oh how wrong I was. In the middle of the night I felt something seep through the sheets… “F#*&!!!!!!! You’re pissing!” I then received the response of “No, I’m not–go back to bed”. In retrospect, it wasn’t the piss that bothered me as much as his mortification-turned-dick-headedness. He pointed me to the next cab and I was out the door. Deal breaker.
Please share your deal breakers in the comments section.
It will no doubt shock and amaze you all to learn that, yes, I’m still single and looking. This being well known among the Greenpointers staff, when we were approached by Christine Hooker, the energetic dating impresario behind improve-your-online-profile service Artful Online Dating, the debate over who would pick up the story was therefore short. Clearly, it was time for my unique predilection for over-sharing to shine.
When Christine arrived, wine in hand, it was clear that the process of doing a little spring cleaning on the OKCupid profile was going to be neither formal nor arduous. Christine has a definite presence (and, yes, a volume level) that fills a room and immediately sets a friendly and conspiratorial tone for her sessions. The basics of her service have been well covered in other articles and on her website, so I won’t go back over them except to say that her base service, which essentially amounts to a conscientious read-over by a neutral third party, is certainly useful but nowhere near as much fun as the slightly pricier options that include a face-to-face session. While talking to her, it became clear why she’s such a good match for this business: she loves the process and pageantry inherent in online dating and, by being so excited about it, makes you forget how soul-crushing and alienating it can seem. A few minutes in, you’re loving it as much as she is.
So what exactly does Christine do? Through helping you to understand the unique aspects of the online medium – the fact that, unlike in a bar/party/friend pickup scenario, you have the chance to make the invisible about yourself visible and thereby better control who may show interest in it – she helps guide your writing to better engage the people reading your profile and guide them towards your better qualities. It’s important to state that she won’t rewrite your profile for you or send messages on your behalf – she’s teaching you to fish here. In my case, she didn’t suggest major changes so much as fine adjustments to make sure my profile wasn’t too much about deflection and humor and instead offered chances for the people reading to include themselves, thereby helping to open conversations. In the case of my roommate, a veteran of the inappropriate-photo-strewn battleground that is online dating for women, engaging in a hilarious conversation about what she was really looking for in her dates helped them to identify many places where subtle changes in language, picture selection, and overall voice could help to engage the sort of boys men she’s looking to meet.
Legally speaking, I can’t promise that paying Christine to help you out with your profile will get you laid. I can, however, guarantee that it will be a far better time than the usual round of Netflix and quickmatch.
Are you curious about online dating but don’t know where to start?
Are you currently online dating but not getting the best results?
Let us help you navigate the minefield. Artful Online Dating is a top-notch online-dating consulting service based in Williamsburg. Artful Online Dating is committed to helping fellow Brooklynites go after what they want, be it companionship, adventure, love, lust… Our personal, responsive services will show you the mistakes you didn’t even know you’ve been making.
The services are affordable, effective, and (we promise) fun.
For Greenpointers readers, we’re happy to offer a FREE “Quick Fix” profile upgrade for the first 10 people to email [email protected]. Mention “Greenpointers” and claim your freebie.