Once again, the event where we try to convince the world that guacamole is a food group football is played with your hands and not with your feet is upon us.
On Sunday, February 7 at 6:30 p.m. EST, the Super Bowl 50 will pit the Carolina Panthers against the Denver Broncos in an epic battle of a young Jedi facing the evil Emperor … oh wait, nevermind. We would never insult Peyton that way. His skin is looking very fresh and unwrinkled thanks to all those product endorsements. Not as fresh as Cam, but that’s hard.
The spots to cheer on big cats versus wild, wild horses (or avoid them) after the jump.
In a stroke of late genius, the NFL has realized that to have Coldplay try to replicate the performances of the Rolling Stones and Tom Petty would be an insult to the musical world that joins in only for halftime, so they have requested that Beyoncé … and wait, er, gulp … Bruno Mars (?!?!?) join in on what will surely be a total shitshow of flashing lights and smoke machines and poptastic sparks of light. Just hope that Kanye shows up and steals the scene, or that Coldplay debuts a new song trashing GOOP.
Here’s our North Brooklyn guide to watching the game, for everyone from grumpy avid sports fans who really want to catch every play, to those who just wanna party (“Who’s playing again? Um, are the Panthers North or South Carolina?”).
WHERE TO WATCH THE GAME:
Greenpoint Beer and Ale (7 North 15th Street at Franklin)
Our Greenpointers Valentine’s Market sponsor! Delicious craft beer is brewed locally on site. Watch the game on a giant projector and try two special additional beers that will be on tap in honor of the Panthers and the Broncos.
No 7 North (931 Manhattan Avenue  between Kent and Java)
Partnering up with Brooklyn Brewery again, No. 7 North is bringing the pigs-in-a-blanket, Lil’ Ray-Ray’s Wing Wangs (we have been assured these are wings, and not wangs), chips and dips, and the full regular menu. Of course, there will also be $20 buckets of Brooklyn Brewery beers, in five dee-lish flavors. Don’t tell Ray-Ray, or that mooch will come drink them all.
River Styx (21 Greenpoint Avenue between West and Transmitter Park)
Our neighborhood hideaway by the East River, River Styx, will once again have smoke machines, lasers and LED lights, as well as a big screen TV. There will be beer specials, and their game day menu will include nachos, sliders, chicken fingers, buffalo wings, and pizza shooters. Added bonus: you can head outside afterwards and streak across Transmitter Park screaming “TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!” when your team scores.
Keg and Lantern (97 Nassau Avenue between Manhattan and Leonard)
Keg and Lantern will of course be showing the game across their multiple TVs. Your game-watching companions will be nachos and two Keg and Lantern in-house brewed beers for $20. K&L is also offering preorder carry-out wings (50 wings for $45 and 100 wings for $80) and crowlers (32-ounce cans of beer) to go.
Bar Matchless (557 Manhattan Avenue at Driggs)
Skip $13 cocktails at some fancy bar and have a $13 pitcher of Bud Light and 50 cent wings at Matchless. The neighborhood favorite will have the game on the big screen.
Whiskey Burger (1025 Manhattan Avenue between Freeman and Green)
Don’t come for the game; come for the game on a 60-inch TV with great sound. Whiskey Burger will have $1 wings all day, plus $3 Bud and Bud Light during the game.
Raizes Churrascaria (113 Nassau Avenue at McGuinness)
Raizes will have buffalo wings and other Super Bowl snacks, as well as happy hour during the Super Bowl. Super Bowl catering is available for preorder and takeout.
Red Star (37 Greenpoint Avenue at West Street)
In case you haven’t heard, Cozinha Latina is now Red Star again. And their famous wings are back just in time for the Super Bowl!
Marlow & Daughters (95 Broadway at Berry)
Need a gourmet Super Bowl spread for home? Marlow & Daughters has got your feast catered with buttermilk-marinated wings, turkey chili, guacamole and chips, buffalo sauce and blue cheese dip.
WHERE TO Â SAFELY AVOID THE GAME:
The Moonlight Mile (200 Franklin Street at India)
For those who understand whiskey and jukeboxes but just don’t get kegstands and audibles, Moonlight Mile is open all night as your Super Bowl hideaway. If Moonlight Mile is full, try Oak and Iron across the street.
Adelina’s (159 Greenpoint Avenue between Manhattan and McGuinness)
Prefer the actual Talking Heads to Terry Bradshaw and Michael Strahan? Adelina’s is showing David Byrne’s film “True Stories“ at 10:00 p.m. Come for a delicious dinner beforehand and stay for the weird stories.
Skinny Dennis (152 Metropolitan Avenue at Berry)
For all those of you with honky tonk in your hearts, The Jack Grace Band will go on at 9:00 p.m. at everyone’s favorite country bar in Williamsburg.
The game starts at 6:30PM. Start your day with us at the Greenpointers Valentine’s Market! Doors open at 1PM. RSVP!