Meet The Fokkens

One of my favorite Greenpointers is prone to disasters in social etiquette. If you want to get fired, invite her to a work party with your boss. While at such a party with a primetime TV producer friend, some big wigs asked her the ontological question: “What do you think of TV?”

She replied: “It’s like a litter box, you keep digging and digging and all you find is shit.”

The next day her producer friend was fired.

Every time I’m desperately searching for something to watch on Netflix, I think of this keen litter box metaphor, but in that moment I turn to another quote by Teddy Roosevelt: “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

When it’s 101º outside and I’m in my underwear on my couch, Netflix is all I got. I’ve compiled a list of some surprisingly great movies to watch.


Jon and I are finally watching Twin Peaks in its entirety for the first time and it is as addictive and amazing and hilarious and creepy as everyone says. The opening music makes my brain so happy. The other night, Jon and I had a serious conversation over which character we associate with the most. Agent Cooper, of course! Once it’s over, I am not sure how we will spend evenings for the rest of our lives.

Here are my Netflix Instant picks. Let me know yours in the comments.

To offset the paralyzing heat while witnessing global warming via the incredible time lapse photography of National Geographic Photographer James Balog’s series on melting ice caps, watch Chasing Ice.

Go on an awkwardly hilarious adventure with a sex addict, a hopeless nerd doing everything wrong to save his marriage and a poor chubby kid who was dragged along for the canoe ride, in the Danish film KLOWN.

For the sweaty and bored narcissist hoping to get sucked into a life less interesting but as captivating as your own, try Tiny Furniture by Lena Dunham or Manhattan by Woody Allen, which is accurately described as “visually striking,” especially the opening credits of late 70s NYC.

Meet The Fokkens: I never thought I would fall in love with elderly twin prostitutes from Amsterdam. So good.

Maybe you’re feeling in need of self-help, Ted Talks: Life Hacks will have you keeping a daily diary about for all which you are grateful or try DUMBO, if you need to learn how to love yourself again.

Wet Hot American Summer is a bunch of ridiculous thirty years old acting like teenagers and there is an unlimited supply of sloppy make-outs. (Sound like a night out in Greenpoint?) The best line: “Fuck you Dyke.”

If you want to laugh at art and the LA Art Scene,while seeing behind the scenes footage of the making of Pee Wee’s Playhouse, check out Beauty is Embarrassing about artist and genius puppet designer Wayne White.

Hot and bothered? Put that rage to good use. I never hated rich people so much and felt so helpless about the state of our economy and government than after watching Park Avenue, which is home to America’s highest concentration of billionaires, while across the river The Bronx is one of the poorest area codes. I know that isn’t a sell, but it’s a great documentary.

• Lars and the Real Girl: Ryan Gosling and a blow up doll. Enough said.

Update: after hearing my list, Jon was passionate about adding two more.

• Troll Hunter – After Jaws, this is Jon’s favorite movie because “it makes excellent use of the documentary style of horror movies, with surprisingly good special effects, like a 200 foot tall Mountain Troll, completely believable characters and it makes the possibility of giant trolls living in the woods completely plausible,” he said.

• River Monster – Jeremy Wade the shows host is the perfect mix of scientist, adventurer and self-mocking Brit who goes on incredibly costly trips all over the world in search of fresh water fish who have been blamed for human death. Even so he insists on throwing every fish back unharmed – mostly.

Stay cool, Greenpoint!

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  1. Klown is an awesome movie, everyone I’ve showed it to has loved the crap out of it. But it’s Danish, not German. They also recently put up the whole TV series it’s based on. Looking forward to watching that. Good picks!

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