The Cleanse: It Ain’t That Bad

I completed a 3-day Juice Cleanse. My last meal before I started was a delicious grilled cheese from the Munchie Mobile and I woke up starving on the first day. Not a great sign.

As an alternative to making my own juice I went with Blue Print Cleanse, which is on the expensive side ($200 for 3 days), but their motto is, “We think, you drink.” First world problems: “I don’t know what juice to make for my cleanse!” Like going to gym, I am motivated by money. I better drink all this liquid gold and not screw it up! And it all came in a neat box, each bottle labeled 1-6. (A little bird told me you can dumpster dive for the juices in LIC.) Or you can try to make them yourself.

Juice #1 & 3 & 5: Romaine, Celery, Cucumber, Apple, Spinach, Kale, Parsley, Lemon

Juice #2: Apple, Pineapple& Mint

Juice #4: Spice Lemonade with Cayenne & Agave

Juice #6: Cashew Nut Milk, Cinnamon, Agave & Vanilla Bean

I decided to do the cleanse because I’ve been curious about this new trend. I came off a week of feeling tired and worn out. I work too much, I drink to much booze, I don’t drink enough water, I overeat often, I eat a lot of meat and bread and I want to give my organs a break. I hoped that this kick in the butt would be like a restart, so I could eat healthier and drink less after the cleanse.

A supportive buddy rolled his eyes and said, “that is only going to last like 6 hours.” But I did it; three days of no food and only juice, and it was worth it, and really not all that bad.  The juices were tasty and as I was starting to get really hungry, I would drink the next juice and it would satisfy me.

It makes you realize a meal is so much more of an event and something to look forward to rather than something you will die if you miss. Lunchtime is solace from work stress. A dinner out with friends is something we can’t wait for during the day. A home cooked meal is a creative and satisfying process, often more enjoyable when you are serving someone else. When it’s only me I roast a head of broccoli and call it a night.

One thing that was great is there was no: “What am I going to make for dinner tonight?” “Where are we going to go eat?” It was simple, I grabbed a juice and my sink never filled up with dirty dishes.

One thing that was lame is all the amazing foods I encountered in Greenpoint. While getting an espresso at Van Leeuwen, (no, I didn’t give up coffee; I don’t hate myself) they had Garam Masala Macaroons! I would have been all over those.

While on the cleanse I made much better choices. Greenpointers’ art critic Martin and I went out for what he called, “watching him drink a beer” at the new Beloved, and it’s strange to sit in a bar and not get a buzz. But I saved money and my liver was better for it. Afterwards I convinced him to try White Burger on me. At $1.25 a pop for white castle-ish  sliders made from a Polish woman who rents out a booth from Subway sandwich shop on Manhattan Ave, who could say no? Especially after beer. I am still waiting on him for the review, but the logo was pretty bad ass and the burgers looked and smelled delicious. Another bad decision I would have made for my body at 10:30pm after a few beers was diverted because I was on a juice cleanse.

On the last night of the cleanse, we all went out to check out the new bar on Broadway called Donna designed by the “brothers” Evan and Olive, who did the build-outs for Paulie Gee’s and The Manhattan Inn. The interiors were absolutely stunning, as to be expected, but more refined with some outstanding lighting fixtures. The menus, while cool looking, were completely confusing and unreadable. And yes, I wanted the Smoked Peach cocktail and the ceviche and the avocado drizzled with oxtail sauce and the pickled vegetables. Instead I ordered a non-alcolic ginger lemon fizzy drink from the hilarious server Seth, who was sympathetic about my juice cleanse. I raced home that night to drink my last juice, the dessert juice.

Day 1 was pretty easy. When I got hungry I drank water. On Day 2, I was at times starving and thinking to myself, “is this stupid? should I just eat?” But Jon was supportive and didn’t eat a hot dog in front of me, which would have made me throw in the towel. Day 3 was easy, too. I woke up with so much energy as if I’d had a pot of coffee.

The next day, the day I could eat again, I wasn’t starving. Maybe my stomach shrunk? Since, I have been feeling great and eating better and not drinking much. I would definitely juice again for a day, like after a vacation, when your body is just saying to you, “hey, idiot with the mouth, can you stop eating for a minute? I need a day off, too!”