© Byard Duncan

Dear James Murphy,

Your music’s swell and we know how much you enjoy a good cup o’ joe (yes, we did watch a feature-length documentary all about how f-ing cool you are and we liked it despite ourselves). But, listen James (can we call you Jimmy?), did you check the price tag on your own specialty coffee blend? It might not seem like a lot to you, seeing as how you sell out Madison Square Garden in like .5 seconds, but $26 is ABSURDLY overpriced for a bag of of coffee.  Anyone who spends that much on coffee doesn’t understand how commerce works and frankly, should retreat to their penthouse with a french press.

Coffee is the everyman’s drink. It’s meant to be reasonably affordable, especially it’s bought to brew at home.  I know that David Lynch and Wilco and Bonnie “Prince” Billy joined the coffee business, but that doesn’t mean…wait the Bonny Billy blend is $36? Jesus. Just follow Lynch. He knows what’s up (a bag of Lynch beans is $12).

And are you aware of how douche-ly your coffee is being described?

“House of Good,” named after a café and retail space James Murphy will soon open in Brooklyn, is a supremely balanced espresso. Its flavor profile – dried cherry, cocoa, meyer lemon – is a harmony between the voluptuous and the austere: It’s akin to the second movement of Carl Nielsen’s Symphony No. 3 – or, perhaps, to that buzzing, syncopated synth line from “Dance Yrself Clean.” Depends on which James you ask.

Which James you ask?? Which James are you? I feel like I don’t even know you anymore, James.

I would also like to remind you that you told the NY Times that your future Brooklyn store will sell “cheap Chinese sneakers” and “whimsical socks.” And also that you are designing luggage…

Are you having a crisis? Do you need to talk about it?

Is $26 really going to induce a symphony of dried cherry in my mouth? Because that’s the only way I would support this.

All my love,
Gina

p.s. Your idea for a subway symphony is pretty cool though. Seems like you’re really into symphonies. I support that.

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  1. Gina you don’t know what your talking. Coffee just like booze or cheese is a cared-for and fine product that can fluctuate in price with the purity or rarity of the good. Not all coffee’s the same…duh. You don’t have to buy it…duh. The world’s best specialty coffee starts at around $15 a bag. You honestly couldn’t be more out of the loop.

    Also, if you’re brewing at home a bag of coffee will last at least 12 cups, if your properly proportioning and measuring then even more, bringing that $26 tag down to less than $2 a cup.

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