The latest veggie burger escapade took myself and a friend to Champs Junior (620 Manhattan Ave), near Nassau Ave in Greenpoint.

This is an all VEGAN burger, which brings us to the topic of this entry: the humanity!

I will spare you the gory details of the farm industrial complex and the daily torture of animals that can think and feel and will focus on the treatment of other humans by other humans.

Our conversation over our guilt-free lunch was interrupted by the damn annoying stools, which I know others have complained about, but still worth a mention. The high bar stools in this micro food joint have no foot rest, so your legs dangle mercilessly on the accord of your own haphazard quadriceps and you may find yourself awkwardly playing footsie with a stranger in order to hang on for dear life!

Can I get a “first world problems” high five?


After adjusting our positions to rest our feet on the tiny windowsill we got to talking about how some people are just major clueless dicks when it comes to treating other people. It was one of those “who would do that?” conversations. And both of our stories caused us to unwillingly modify our own decisions based on other people’s assholes-ness.

In my friend’s case she had to adjust her service job hours in a local bar because regulars (married regulars) after one too many drinks,  just couldn’t get it that she was being nice because that is her job and NO she isn’t interested. Some guys just can’t take a hint! Do we have any bartenders or waitresses here that deal with this? Feel free to vent in the comments section.

In my bitch session I recounted an old business relationship in which I was on the service receiving end, paying an agreed upon rate for use of an event space. During the event set-up, when anxiety was running high, I was being treated like an unwanted nuisance. Then during the event I was outright harassed by the owner – in front of my own mother, who doesn’t take kindly to abrasive grumpy men. All over a not hugely significant amount of money. Never going back there again. Who treats customers like that? That guy.

My first line of defense is to get all Sicilian on your ass, but when I calm down it’s just sad that we (I’m not innocent) can get so wrapped up in our own unhappiness (because of stress, money, status, ego) and mistreat others.

I know you’re saying – look around – that is the world we live in, but that is no excuse. Let’s have more faith in humanity than that. We can all be nice to one another (animals included).

It was nice to swallow all the venom down with a loaded Champs Jr. Vegan Burger, made with beets, quinoa, chick peas and spices and topped with vegan cheese, avocado, pickles and spinach. Even though the perfectly crisp house made patty was beet red, the flavor wasn’t entirely dominated by the root veggie although it did impart a distinct sweetness and depth to the burger. The bun was phenomenal, not too big, moist and deflated obediently under the squeeze of my hungry paws. The burger didn’t come with a side of fries, but I obviously ordered them and they were crisp and fried to perfection.

It was really hard to compare this burger with the others I’ve tried – so different in flavor and texture – truly its own animal. (I really said that not intending to make that pun but there you go.)

Have you tried Champs Junior yet? Do you love?

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