A few months ago I purchased this doughnut map that features 35 of the best places to get a doughnut in New York City. It was the best $10 I’ve ever spent. Since receiving the map, I’ve been traveling throughout the boroughs eating a shit-ton of donuts and probably gaining a few pounds, but whatever. I’m having the time of my life.

Yesterday I went to #1 on the map, Peter Pan Bakery (on Manhattan between Norman and Meserole). I had never been before. Why? Because I’m out of my goddamn mind, that’s why. The place is a 10-minute walk from my apartment and serves some of the most delicious doughnuts I’ve ever tasted, and I promise you, I’ve tasted plenty.

Are you aware that they have a doughnut with frosting and red velvet cake crumbled ON TOP of the doughnut?

Are you also aware that their donuts are only $1? And the more you buy, the less they cost? Ten donuts, for instance, costs $8 and change. THAT’S IT.

I was so overwhelmed by the variety of donuts and scent of sweets that I started convulsing. It wasn’t the cold air outside. It was the ‘nuts, man. This place is no joke. No wonder Tina Fey once said she wanted to violate them.

If you live in Greenpoint, please don’t make the same mistake I did. Get off your ass, head to Peter Pan and go get a doughnut….or seven. I bought seven. YOLO.

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