Good news for local almond moms—a Goop Kitchen location will open somewhere in East Williamsburg, Eater reports.
That’s right, Goop as in Ms. “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can” herself, Gwynnie P!
The Los Angeles-based chain first opened in 2021 and has since expanded to 14 locations around California. Goop Kitchen (also a great way to describe the myriad toxins and solvents swirling in the soil of the area’s Superfund site) opened its first New York City location this week, with plans for additional locations later this year.
As you might have guessed, the fast-casual chain emphasizes clean eating, free of gluten, refined sugar, seed oils, and preservatives.
No address was given; Eater reports that this will be a delivery-only location, so I guess it’s more like…G(host)oop Kitchen? My guess is some PR girly out there is shaking her gel-manicured first to the sky at missing out on prime real estate in Williamsburg’s slop bowl row. However, based on this job listing, it appears that Goop Kitchen will set up at this CloudKitchens concept at 356 Devoe Street.
In website copy that was definitely not written by AI, CloudKitchens pitches its appeal as thus:
“Lots of restaurants, street art and food culture, that’s Williamsburg, one of Brooklyn’s best neighborhood to place your delivery restaurant! Being very close to Manhattan is just one of the many arguments you have to be there and get your food to a lot of people that really appreciate the experience and flavour you propose!”
Wonder, a similar ghost kitchen configuration, has been pretty much panned by the neighborhood since setting up shop (for good reason, support local!) so let’s see how CloudKitchens fares. Undoubtedly, Goop Kitchen will likely attract those in the fancy high rise towers on the opposite side of the neighborhood, to which I say: y’all better be tipping HANDSOMELY.
And I’m clowning on this, but at the end of the day, I will gladly scarf down any Chinese chicken salad you put in front of me.
Even if there’s no way it beats the one at the Cheesecake Factory.