Let’s Get Trashed and Naked: 9,000 Wristbands Already Sold to Saturday’s Greenpoint Tipsy Mistletoe Bar Crawl!!!

You know that famous bar crawl where you dress up like Santa and get completely wasted with a huge crowd of young hotties?

Aren’t you pissed that they got kicked out of Williamsburg?

Party promotion team Twitchy Fingers is bringing the action back, this Saturday only. They’ve got 64 participating venues, all in Greenpoint this time.

That’s right, it’s Greenpoint’s First Annual Tipsy Mistletoe!

For just a $30 wristband you get, get this, unlimited 25 cent 190-proof grain alcohol shooters from 10 in the morning to 3 AM at night, plus a souvenir cup good for 1 dollar Buds everywhere.

They’ve already sold 90% of their 10,000 wristband allotment, but here’s how to unlock access to the remaining treasure.

Just Twitter them your sexiest photo and they will choose the most titillating people to bring into the magic.

Full details inside.

That’s not a real event. But there are some other ways to see Santa this Saturday, like this one at Humboldt & Jackson (434 Humboldt Street) for the kids (adults welcome too), and this one at night at Dobbin Street Co-Op (37 Norman Ave.) for adults.

Also this Saturday, the pretty church alongside McGolrick Park the Park Church Co-Op (129 Russell Street) is hosting a local holiday-themed comedy show.

Writers and performers from Jezebel, Late Night with Seth Myers, and Saturday Night Live will appear. Greenpoint restaurant Marrakesh Express will cater the event. Start time is 8 PM and the cost is $10.

Saving the best for last, Northern Territory (12 Franklin Street) is hosting Santastical, an immersive Christmas experience, from now until December 23rd.

You can sit on the lap of your favorite Santa. They have a hunky Santa, Elvis Santa, and a Jewish Santa named Hanukklaus.

There’s even a Playboy Mansion grotto hung with mistletoe.

Aren’t you glad you live in Greenpoint?