I like to think of myself as a “good dater” – I converse easily (with a wall, if need be), am easy-going, and can survive any awkward situation I’m thrown into (recently, these are becoming my norm). Reflecting upon my dating history, I see a pattern with my date acceptances: I accept because I don’t know how to say no, or I rationalize, “Hey! Even if this doesn’t work out, I will get a new friend out of it!” (I have quickly learned that no, dudes are NOT on Tinder for “friends”). After a few Tinder-induced dates (see previous post), I have begun to ask myself “What AM I looking for in a mate?”

-Someone who doesn’t conveniently forget their wallet on a first date after insisting on dinner and numerous beverages.
-Someone with more of a sense of humor than endless menstruation jokes and movie quotes.
-A college graduate – community college is acceptable.
-Someone who is moderately healthy however not someone who claims, “Monday thru Friday I’m completely grain free – and Saturday and Sunday are my ‘cheat’ days.”
-Someone who does not take sexy selfies – No exceptions.
-Someone who does not use hair gel in a way which mimics Pauly D.
-Someone who does not live with their parents (exceptions include but are not limited to, men whose parents are invalids).
-Someone who does not use the word “Babe” prior to a relationship let alone meeting.
-A man whose pants are looser than mine.
-Someone who enjoys a good whiskey.
-Someone who does not have an ironic sailor and/or tribal tattoo.
-A good dancer…

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  1. Dating in NYC is a nightmare!!! I have never gone out on so many dates and met so many men in my life. I’ve been single for about a year, and I meet an average of 2-3 guys per week. Yes, I also thought if nothing came out of it at least friendship… right! Is hard not to take the rejection personal, yet I find comfort in learning many women share my situation. Heavens help me 😉

  2. “Invalid” is archaic; better to use “handicapped.”

    I’ve never met a man who makes a “menstruation joke” on the first date. If he can quote My Cousin Vinny in its entirety, then I’m walking down the aisle.

  3. Meddy, girl, post that list on an OkCupid profile, my super lovely and foxy friend “M” is also 5’10 & has the same height requirement that you have. She met an amazing psych professor last year on OkC & they just eloped last week! I sound like a commercial. But I am serious, from one formerly romantically struggling Greenpoint lady to another, try it! Also, you may eventually meet the right guy at a friends wedding or at a World Cup party or whatever, but online dating isn’t so bad, especially when you get to know the language and what to look for and avoid.

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