Dear little dog owner on the corner of Noble and Franklin,

Your little white mutt was really cute on that red leash. I saw you guys as I was walking towards Franklin on Noble and even thought to myself, ‘what a handsome pair.’ But then a look of extreme discomfort spread across his muzzle. His ears flattened, his eyes strained and to both his horror and yours, he assumed the squatting position we all know means one thing – the embarrassing number two.

I noticed you didn’t have a doodie bag as he did his business. I think you may have noticed that I noticed.

And then you did the most heroic thing I have ever seen: you picked up your dog’s steaming turd with your bare hand and you disposed of it in a nearby trash receptacle.

This was an extreme (and disgusting) measure, no doubt. But, Mrs. Little Dog, I thank you for doing your part in keeping the streets of Graypoint clean. Seriously – you are a hardcore lady.


I love you but please excuse me while I go throw up,

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  1. Wow that is really intense. I mean when I walk my dog, and he decides that he needs to go for the second or third time, and I don’t have a bag I always thought that I was playing it cool by walking to the nearest trash can and salvaging some scrap of something (empty cup, newspaper scrap, ect) that doesn’t look too disgusting to pick it up with.

    But that is some serious dedication to keeping the streets clean that I am not sure I have.

    I’m with LL lots of respect (but my stomach is also turning…and remember a trash can with some piece of litter is always just about a block away)

  2. holy hell. this kind of reminds me of a few years ago, when one of the kids i was babysitting puked all over the sidewalk in union square…right in front of the window of the local starbucks.

    All of the starbucks patrons looked at me in horror as i tried to mop up the vomit with one little baby wipe.

  3. Like Tom above, I’ve been caught that way a couple of times when walking my friend’s dog. Fortunately in Greenpoint I’ve never had a problem finding an empty black plastic bodega bag or something similar tumbleweeding down the sidewalk.

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