Dear little dog owner on the corner of Noble and Franklin,
Your little white mutt was really cute on that red leash. I saw you guys as I was walking towards Franklin on Noble and even thought to myself, ‘what a handsome pair.’ But then a look of extreme discomfort spread across his muzzle. His ears flattened, his eyes strained and to both his horror and yours, he assumed the squatting position we all know means one thing – the embarrassing number two.
I noticed you didn’t have a doodie bag as he did his business. I think you may have noticed that I noticed.
And then you did the most heroic thing I have ever seen: you picked up your dog’s steaming turd with your bare hand and you disposed of it in a nearby trash receptacle.
This was an extreme (and disgusting) measure, no doubt. But, Mrs. Little Dog, I thank you for doing your part in keeping the streets of Graypoint clean. Seriously – you are a hardcore lady.
I love you but please excuse me while I go throw up,