When I'm Not Writing I Wear Cupcake Pajamas and Play With a Confidential Number of Cats

You don’t just wake up one day and become a crazy cat lady – it’s in your blood – passed down through generations from the crazy cat ladies before you. Being a crazy cat lady is not just having a hoarder level number of cats – it’s functioning on that level, so your friends and family don’t actually think you’re crazy.

There are photos of “Snoopy” the cat sleeping alongside me in my crib as an infant. So what MOST people think are TOO many cats seemed normal to me from birth. Rusty, Yardy, Squeaky, Rambo, Xena, Frankenstein, Dusty, Belle, Mittens, Stanley, Coda, Calogero, Bean, CJ, Ziggy… the list of cats in my life literally goes on and on. (Let’s not talk about the pet cemetery in our backyard in Queens.)

As I got older, my mother asked me to keep the number of cats confidential. She really just told me to straight out lie.

“We have three cats,” I was trained to say.


I began to realize that there was a technique I was learning to master my crazy cat lady skills. It isn’t just a numbers game, but also a keeping up of appearances (and litter boxes.) When guests came over, Mom did a good job of hiding them – one in the basement, another under the sink, they even tucked away into the eaves of the house.

Cats are contortionist and can be filed away in very small places, but unless you have some powerful odor fighting cleaners – you won’t be able to hide that cat smell. Even the most successful of crazy cat ladies need help! And it isn’t just keeping the litter boxes fresh – if you’re like me your cats are like royalty and are all over everything – the rugs, the bed, the couch.

Thanks to the miraculous engineers who invented Febreze, our guests don’t have a clue that a little furry friend is stowed away in a shoebox under the coffee table. Right before our dinner party guests arrive, I literally do a dance around the entire apartment with Febreze Refresher Pet Odor Eliminator. I really do this. It works. I still have friends.

And that’s how seasoned cat ladies do it – with help. Being a cat lady is tough, Febreze Refresher is tougher! #NYTough

Sponsored post courtesy of P&G Brands.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *