This article made possibly by a donation to our Writer’s Fund Raffle by Her Majesty Hot Sauce.
Tall girl problems. Contrary to popular belief being tall isn’t always a blessing, I stand 5’10 and let me tell you it’s like god damn Goldilocks when it comes to dating – too tall, too short.. My first boyfriend in High School was mayyyyybe 5’..8? On a good day (or maybe when he put lifts in his shoes)? I think we only kissed sitting down, at least that’s what I tell myself. And then there was the guy who was 6’8 and seriously I think he had paint chips on his head he legit had to bend down to talk to me and I was in 3 inch heels!
I just can’t date a dude shorter than 6’1, I just won’t do it. Yes, that eliminates an entire demographic of eligible men but my posture already has me dangerously close to looking like a candy cane by 50 so I really can’t risk any other variables that might speed up this fate.
Top 5 reasons why I just can’t go shorter..
5. He may be confused for my younger brother.
4. My strides are longer so I get everywhere 10 minutes before him.
3. Because when you have to sit on their laps in the car it just makes more sense for them to sit in yours.
2. What girl actually wants to be the big spoon?
1. No girl likes to be perma-motorboated – it just isn’t decent foreplay.