This article brought to you by a donation to our Writer’s Fund Raffle by Brouwerij Lane.
This would happen to me, similar to the time I met up with my friend
Cristiano and I wore a bright red snowman sweatshirt (not during the holidays) because I’m “alternative” and unique and then show up to him wearing the same bright red sweatshirt… the entire night people kept coming over asking if we coordinated our outfits… see below..
So I guess I can’t be too surprised when on Saturday night yet again my alternative, “I don’t care” (but I REALLY care) style choice shit the bed. I was meeting my friend in the East Village so I threw on this red Indiana cutoff T shirt. It was FREEZING out and my friend was running pretty late so she said I should find a bar to wait. Because I don’t typically leave my Greenpoint radius, I don’t know many “I’m sitting here alone at 10:30 on Saturday night but I swear I’m meeting someone” friendly bars. I recognized the name “Coopers” as a bar my friend said she had her birthday party at once, it was pretty crowded but I managed to find a seat at the bar. After sitting down I realized I was the only girl in the place and as I ordered a drink and took off my jacket I looked up at the TV screen everyone was was glued to and saw that there was an Indiana basketball game on the screen..
Bartender: “Sooo big Indiana fan, eh?”
Me: “Me? Nooo I just sort of happened to throw this on.”
Bartender: “Wow, definitely no need for the tude.”
Me: “What? No! I’m not being sarcastic.”
Bartender: “Oh so you just like to go to sports bars alone wearing team t shirts?”
I guess I did look like an odd situation, showing up to a sports bar solo on a Saturday night in an Indiana t shirt during an Indiana basketball game trying to… “keep to myself” fiddling with an incredibly interesting napkin and straw while wondering where the fuck my friend was. I think to a guy this has to be like an ultimate green light “please talk to me!!!”
Every place we went guys would say, “Indiana! I see you – I see you, Indiana” or “Indiana we’re comin for you on Tuesday!” I don’t even know what the hell happened nor do I care.. but ladies take note — this will make you very approachable.
Line: (A few minutes into convo..) “Have you ever kissed a Southern gentleman?”
Response: “Uhh No.”
Line: “Sooo you watching the dunk contest… Ok fuck it, sorry I really hate pick up lines.”
Response: “That was pretty good actually.”
Line: “Is this the train to Manhattan?”
Rachel: “Yah it is.”
Guy: “Cool.. You getting off at Union Square?”
Rachel: “Uhh.. No, 8th avenue.”
Guy: “Ohh, Yah me too!”
Rachel: (walks to other end of the platform)
Line: “Am I cute?”
Response: “Uhh, excuse me?”
Tom: “There was some hesitation there.. I think I need to buy you another drink.”
If your friend’s name isn’t “Cristiano,” then what is it?
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