The Greenpoint Pick Up

Commuting.

I’d say when I’m not balls deep in “This American Life” or one of the million books I start but rarely finish, I am primarily people watching – MAN watching to be exact. Call me shallow but I’d say my train car of choice is heavily influenced by how many attractive men are riding in it. There is a strict “look but don’t speak” policy on the subway therefore, picking someone up while commuting is either one of two things – highly admirable or highly creepy.  So the day I was approached on the G train I was suspicious yet intrigued.

He got on at the 21st Van Alst stop which should have been a red flag to begin with – when do you EVER see someone get on or off the Van Alst stop? Why do we even have that stop? Nonetheless, he crammed himself next to me on the train.

Man: “What are you Reading?”
Me: “Oh.. umm..Perks of Being a Wallflower”
Man: He holds up his book titled ‘I hope they serve Beer in Hell’. “So I guess this makes me kind of an ass hole?”
Me: “Did you write it?”
Man: “Haha. No, but I think the guy’s a legend.”
Me: “Then yeah, I guess that might make you an ass hole.”

We are only a couple more commutes until the start of a long weekend people so get your creep on… and tell me about it. Here are a few of this week’s pick up lines:

Name: Caitlin
Location: Greenpoint Deli, Manhattan & Norman at 4 am.
Pick up line: “Hey you ride the train in the morning.  You always wear sunglasses on the train.  That’s so weird… because you are so pretty.”
Response: “um…”
(I buy my Ben & Jerry’s and scoot on out because it’s 4 am and I have to ride the train in the morning hungover with sunglasses.)

Name: Kyle
Location: Enid’s
Pick up Line: (Girl sitting at the bar scrolling through her phone.) “Are you trying to find my number?”
Response: “Umm No.”

Name: Victoria
Location: Unknown Dance Party
Pick up Line: “You are way to cute to be standing here alone.” (said to a cute boy who was not dancing at a dance party)
Response: I got scared after I said it and ran out of the bar…..

Name: Anonymous
Location: Greenpoint G stop
Pick up Line: “I’m sorry, but is your email blue eye cutie at yahoo.com?”
Response: “What?” (Removes headphones)
Line: “Ohh uhh… I said is your email blue eye cutie at yahoo.com?”
Response: “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you, you said you thought you knew my mom?”