My thoughts about online dating have been… negative, to say the least. When some of my friends have suggested it, I think I looked at them as though they had just told me [insert the most offensive thing you have ever heard has been to date]. They’re essentially telling me that my relationship potential can be boiled down into a cyber black hole. While many of my friends are in steady relationships, getting engaged, married, buying puppies, and maybe even Prius’, I’m pretty much playing jenga at Spritzenhaus with my brother and his girlfriend every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The loser of every game (me) has to call the “looking for a good time” number on whatever chosen jenga piece. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good jenga game as much as the next person, but seriously… are all of you bearded, flannel wearing men just hiding in some majestic cave somewhere in the depths of Brooklyn? WTF.
So, with that being said, last Sunday (over an enthralling game of jenga) we were discussing the new Tinder dating app that people have been talking about. Essentially a “hot or not”, or as I like to think, an interactive Instagram. Basically you create an incredibly limited profile consisting of four carefully chosen Facebook photos and your age. Then you get an endless deck of male photos in which you swipe Right (Date) or Left (Nope). Each profile also provides any mutual Facebook friends you may have. When you hit “Date” your picture goes to the top of said Hot person’s deck and if they swipe Right – Voilà you are a match. Once you’re a match you can chat – which sort of feels like you’re in 8th grade again chatting on AIM at midnight with your “boyfriend” whom you do not speak to at school. This part gets a little weird, bc it’s like this whole thing is a little… creepy to begin with so, no matter your “ice breaker” the unsaid (or said) message is “I think you’re hot, you think I’m hot — sooo…” I would like to think that in a perfect world your real “match” will have more of a story than “we met on a hot or not app”. However, in Tinder’s defense, what is the first reason you show interest in a stranger? Most probably physical attraction?
“Tinder etiquette” is interesting, like what do you do when you come across your friend? How well do you both know your mutual Facebook friend and will that somehow taint your anonymity? Also, once you are matched is it automatically assumed you are going on a date without even some mindless banter? So, with that being said, I have joined the Tindersphere. I have had one date, and three more lined up, I guess we will see where that takes me.
Let me get this straight. You’re having trouble finding bearded, flannel wearing men in an area that is exclusively populated by them?
White wines.
Just about everyone I know is or has been on OkCupid. I don’t think there is any shame in it & reading a profile and browsing through half a dozen pictures provides way more information about a person than a glance across a bar. You can also find out really handy things in advance… like if someone is only looking to date someone sexually submissive or brushes their teeth more than once a day. I actually met my boyfriend using OkCupid, 1 year ago yesterday. We were living less than a block away from each other, in Greenpoint, for the last 3 years. And, we never managed to meet each other coincidentally at Habitat or Pencil Factory, where we were both going, regularly.